Saturday, April 05, 2008

Because if you mean what I think you mean, my uncles are going to bitch-slap you.

Mr Half Soled Boots and I were watching Big Brother 9 a few nights ago. One of the houseguests, a Texan, is the last one left of the house's two obligatory gay guys. After behaving like an arrogant and duplicitous asshat for the last several weeks, then bursting into "crocodile tears" in a last desperate bid for votes, he finally got evicted. Once out of the house, he turned on the smarm full blast to charm the show's host, Julie Chen. He did the double-hand-handshake, flashed his too-white teeth and repeated the annoying and pervasive (and usually false) phrase, "it's all good".

Mr HSB snorted in disgust and remarked, "They're all arrogant like that."

I glanced at him and said suspiciously, "Who are 'all like that'?"

He shook his head, reached for another handful of popcorn, and said disdainfully, "Texans."

8 comments:

kate said...

Hee hee hee. OK, that made me snort in laughter.

Dave Hingsburger said...

I called Joe in to read this to him this morning. Mr HSB was lucky that he cleared that up ... wouldn't want to have us in a tizzy. Specially since Joe put the Forsythe Saga (parts one and two) in the mail to you yesterday.

dropstitchknitter said...

OH MY! I'm glad I had put my coffee cup down.

Did you give him up to your uncles yet?

Kristine said...

Lol that is too hysterical!

Heatherly said...

ROFL

Gena said...

Wow. As a Texan I'm going to have to take some serious offense to that and point out that Mr HSB has not, in fact, met every Texan. And in fact, the majority are humble and nice.

Shan said...

Sorry, Gena.

Kris said...

Wow - I haven't watched Big Brother, because it annoys me, but I have to say, nearly all of the Texans I have met were gracious, friendly (to a fault) and kind. I once watch a man who is heir to a company worth somewhere in the vicinity of $100 million hauling crap and loading vehicles with the rest of us.