Sunday, April 19, 2009

Need-B-Gone

I am a willful and determined person. I am also sometimes extremely annoying and pushy, but it helps get things done and I'm not ashamed of that.

There is a downside to having a personality like this, though. (Besides the "annoying and pushy" thing.) In the course of my life, many high-maintenance people have attached themselves to me, I suppose hoping that I have enough strength to carry them as well as myself. If I were on the Titanic, I would have drowned for sure - fifteen people would have grabbed my spangled ball gown as I struck out with optimism and a good, churning Australian crawl towards Newfoundland.

I'm beginning to feel like I might kick some of them in the mouth and leave them to fend for themselves.

13 comments:

lizbon said...

Let 'em get their own lifejacket.

kate said...

Made me snort.

You're my kind of gal, Shan.

Jadekitty said...

Good for you for recognizing this, now just to say No and run away.

yarninmypocket said...

HA! Yes, I recognise this, though I tend towards the 'quiet and determined, possibly nefarious' myself. I no longer need needy people to tell me I'm worthwhile; they can go row their own boats (or swim in their own spangles).

carlarey said...

Let the teeth fly!

I vowed last year to scrape off the barnacle people, and it has been nothing but wonderful. Now when the phone rings, it's actually someone I want to talk to, not someone calling to whine about their latest self-manufactured crisis.

Gwen said...

I tried to write a gag "I'm such a terrible friend, I'm so sorry, I'm just a victim" comment, but it was far too exhausting.

You're loving, funny, generous, smart and kind, and you probably sewed that spangled ball gown yourself. If you help me get to Newfoundland, I'll kick everybody else away. We're a good team.

Kimmer said...

Hmmm...one can't help but wonder who you are talking about. Could it be Teralee? She's very neurotic. Or maybe Leanne...she's high maintenance. At least I know its not me. I haven't actually talked to you in person for almost 2 years (but that might change soon!)

Shan said...

Hm, I should say one thing:

It's not Teralee, or Leanne, or you....or You or You. It's nobody who reads this blog or even knows I have one.

karen said...

I have a good friend ( 30 yrs my senior - now 80) who at 50, when I first met her, stated that:
Time on this planet, was too short to waste it on those who did not add joy to your life.
I agree - spring cleaning isn't just for the closet!!

Annalea said...

I've watched my mom go through this same process . . . learning to say no to those who would monopolize her time and limited energy. She's a quiet, hardworking and selfless woman, and it was remarkable to see the barnacles drop off of their own accord once they got wind that she no longer was an easy mark.

Best of luck, Shan. I'm sure you'll find a way that's both classy and absolute. :o)

Stace' said...

I can relate to this post more than I wish I could. I feel ya' sister. We need another peanut butter pie.

Ssejors said...

Do It!

Dave Hingsburger said...

Desperately needy people terrify me, their need seems overwhelming, it seems capable of consuming every bit of energy that I have. I fear their desperation and I fear what they see in me. It's a tough decision to break free, it's even tougher to do ... good luck with that ... how about a follow up post.