My sister used to torture the neighbour's kitten, Mighty, by dressing him up and strapping him into her doll buggy. Apparently her cruel sadistic streak has only been repressed, not eliminated.
#2
This is the story of ten of the most awkward minutes of my life.
One night, while I was in university, my friend Diane and I were walking back to my place from the club where we had gone dancing. She wanted to stop at 7/11 for a cup of coffee, but had a lit cigarette which she wasn't allowed to bring inside. She handed it to me and said "here, hold this". I stood there outside the 7/11 while she bought her coffee at 2.45 AM, holding a lit cigarette like it was a stick of dynamite. I tried to look natural - you know, like it wasn't my FIRST TIME holding a cigarette at the age of 21 - but was fascinated by the ominous death-stick in my fingers. After a few minutes, when I was growing increasingly worried about the glowing red ring creeping ever closer to my hand, a kid about 15 approached and asked if he could bum a cigarette. I looked up in surprise and said automatically, "I don't smoke."
He looked at the cigarette in my hand. Looked up at me. Said "F*ck you, lady."
14 comments:
Oh, I can just hear the teen sarcasm dripping from his voice! Too funny.
(I have no comment on the battle of the sisters. Last time I got in trouble. I'm remaining neutral. Like Switzerland. They have good chocolate, so I'm set.)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!
You never held a cigarette until you were 21? That's not what you told me. Is it because Mom reads this?
Gwen, I'm talking about tobacco here.
That is so funny. :-). But you were being entirely truthful.
A little mirth in the morning is a great thing! That was pretty funny.
"Mirth in the Morning," that sounds like a radio program. Like "Stew and Stew in the Morning," or "the World at Six," etc. Good one!
I once was sitting in my wheelchair outside 7 -11 and a teenager tried to beg a smoke from me. I responded by saying, 'You realize that you are begging from a cripple, do you realize how far you've fallen?" .... Now I was only joking but he burst into tears and ran off. I'm guessing he's the CEO of a small company right now and that's the inspirational story he will tell his grand kids. 'The night the cripple saved me from myself.'
ha ha! Thanks for that...I needed a laugh this Wednesday morn.
Too funny - your sister's commentary on Fox in Socks cracked me up!
OMgoodness, Gwen.
Like Kate I can totally hear the teen sarcasm. Great story.
CLASSIC!
Very funny! I wish my sister blogged!
hysterical! a great story for my friday.
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