RULES OF STAY-AT-HOME-MOTHERHOOD
1 - You are in charge of all the cooking
2 - You are in charge of all the cleaning
3 - You are in charge of all the grocery shopping (starting to notice a pattern here?)
4 - If anyone is sick you stay up night and day, for as long as it takes, bringing them water, crackers, cool cloths, and blankets; and brushing their teeth extra gently, changing their sheets, wiping their noses, and murmuring soothing words. You must also be extra patient since whininess is expected and allowable in sick people. Unless you are the sick person (see #5).
5 - If you are sick, suck it up. There are still meals to be cooked, bathrooms to be cleaned, and other people's butts to wipe.
6 - Never, EVER expect to be thanked, except on bi-annual insincerity days such as Mother's Day or your birthday.
I know I'm forgetting some of them, but sadly I don't have time to think things through properly just now (see numbers 1, 2, and 4). If you think of anything I missed, go ahead and remind me.