0105 - The kids finally stop coughing
0130 - I look at the clock and think "I'll just finish this row before I go to bed."
0135 - Row finished, I turn off Buffy Season 5 and go to bed
0152 - Emily, clutching a WebKinz, comes into bed with Mr HSB and me
0210 - I tell Emily to please lie still and go to sleep
0220 - I tell her to please lie still AGAIN. She complains of a headache. Mr HSBoots takes his pillow and alarm clock and goes somewhere else.
0245 - Emily is holding her ear and crying "I want to go to the doctor."
0308 - We check into the ER
0320 - DOCTOR, TO ME: That ear's red - here's a 'script.
TO EMILY: You were such a good girl! Do you want an early birthday present? I have a wind-up dancing frog for you.
0345 - back at home, back in bed.
0420 - I beg Emily to please please lie still and go to sleep
0447 - Emily goes to sleep
0502 - I look at the clock for the last time
0715 - Charlotte wakes me up. I tell her she can go on the computer for a bit. I try to go back to sleep.
0722 - Charlotte starts to cry because the mouse won't move. Em wakes up. I consider suicide.
0930 - I phone my sister instead
0945 - the kids start fighting
0955 - the kids are crying
1015 - I hang up the phone
1020 - CHARLOTTE, SOBBING: I feel like you're a bad mother. I feel like I don't want to live with you any more. I feel like you make everything my fault.
1025 - EMILY, SOBBING: You don't love me mummy and I'm moving away and I'm never going to live with you again or play tea party with you again. Mummy pick me up I need a snuggle.
1045 - I decide to post to let you all know you may never hear from me again. Because it's all just too much for me.