Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Watch the birdie, now! Watch the birdie!

It’s come to my attention that at least one of you thinks I ought to get busy, do some kind of song and dance, put up a post, whatever. But the spirit hasn’t moved, and in fact I’m in an utterly foul and wretched mood at the moment, so the best I can do is to tell you a joke.

Once upon a time, there was an offer of the Royal Navy. Captain Bravado showed no fear before his enemies, even in the heat and chaos of battle, and had earned the respect and admiration of the crew for his unflinching courage in the face of danger. One day the man in the crow’s nest spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic as the lookout screamed his warning. Captain Bravado bellowed, “Bring me my red shirt!” The first mate quickly handed the Captain his red shirt and, while wearing the brightly coloured garment, the Captain led his crew into battle, defeating the swarthy pirates.

That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting their day of triumph. One of them asked the Captain, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?”

The Captain replied, “If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. You men would continue to fight, unafraid.”  And all the men marvelled at the courage of their indomitable leader.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but seven pirate ships approaching! The crew stared, trusting and expectant, at the Captain, waiting for his usual orders. Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the motley armada arrayed against his ship, and, without a sign of fear, turned and shouted:

“Bring me my brown pants.”


bethro said...

Terrible - and wonderful.

I'd say feel better but I know that's shallow and pointless. I just hope the time between feeling wretched and feeling less wretched is short.

lizbon said...


And, er, dude, you know that I totally know the feeling. Not the brown-pants feeling, the other one.

lizbon said...

PS. And then I start to wonder about the origin of Star Trek redshirts. Whoa, pop culture explosion...

Ames said...

Ooh, yeah. I would be up for a song and a dance.

kate said...

Wait.... You can sing as well as dance now? You are some catch!

lesley said...

read the joke to the boys....they laughed hysterically :)

Night Owl said...

LOL awful joke!
but there are worse musician jokes. "what should a good viola be used for?" - "firewood"
and it's more complicated than that, but that's all i remember. and some jokes result in deaths of musicians. oh right... hilarious. :P
at least this joke was funny. :)

and i think you need a hug, miss in-a-foul-mood. :)