Damn Kids - Geroff my Lawn

What IS it with young people these days? I've got these shiftless drug-using neighbours who seem to have several teenage children hanging around the house at all times. I think most of them live there, but possibly not all.

A strong whiff of BC homegrown permeates the atmosphere around their house at certain times. My daughter and I were selling Girl Guide cookies one day and the (presumably) dad of these kids tore up in a junker car as we passed his driveway, opened the door (accompanied by a cloud of smoke and a riff of Robert Plant), staggered over to us and genially demanded four boxes of cookies, digging a stained hand into a stained pocket and breathing alcohol fumes all over me.

The kids amuse themselves by breaking into people's sheds and trying all the parked cars for unlocked doors. If they find one, they rummage through the door pockets, pilfer a few CDs and - oddly - Canadian Tire money. If there's change available, they may or may not swipe it. I suspect it was they who overturned the Postes Canada Post distribution box at the corner of the street a few months ago. At any given time you can see them scrambling over fences, slouching through people's yards on their way to the woods behind the houses, or maybe tearing along the road on a really whiney electric skateboard of some kind.

I was going to write some wry, amused observations about the youth of the world going to hell in a handbasket, but then I found this:

The world is passing through troublous times. The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they knew everything, and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for the girls, they are forward, immodest and unladylike in speech, behaviour and dress.

-Peter the Hermit, 1247 AD

And this:

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders... They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers.

-Attributed to Socrates, 470-399 BC

So I guess it's not going to change anytime soon, eh? Although I'd be quite happy to have children who cross their legs, and even gobble dainties, as long as they aren't smoking crack in the woods. Y'know?

Somewhere in my Youth.....or Childhood.

I dunno guys. I, like Maria von Trapp "must have done something good". I received two packages in the mail. One was from Anna in the Chicago area, and one was from Uncle Dave.

Something possessed Anna to send me an entire skein of Lorna's Laces "Helen's Lace" and to send it in a cardboard box by USPS Priority Post. Not only the beautiful yarn, but twenty quid for shipping - what on earth?! My dear Anna, I simply cannot accept all this generosity. Well, I can, but I'll have to reciprocate. I have kept your address and will put together some tokens of my gratitude as time allows.

These colours are so intense - like berries and flowers.


And Dave, you rascal - not one, not two, but THREE new DVD adaptations to watch? It's too much! I don't deserve it. No, really - I don't. I am salivating over the cover of "Turn of the Screw" which is one of my all-time favourite creepy books: right up there with Girl in a Swing. I had no idea it was THAT version of TotS, and am fairly hopping with anticipation of being able to start it tomorrow. Middlemarch will follow quickly, and The Old Curiosity Shop will bring up the rear. I sent Mr. HalfSoledBoots out for popcorn and iced tea mix, so all I need is to pick up a package of Cherry Blasters on my way home from knitting tomorrow, and I am All Set.


Anna and Dave, thank you. Thank you so very much for your generosity. I could cry - in fact I feel some happy sniffles and a watery smile coming on this minute. I am undone and can only hiccough convulsively into my hanky.

I'm only on Number Four?

#4

I have a dream vacation. Want to know what it is?

I would bring the following things:
-wool
-needles
-a needle gauge/ruler
-a notepad
-pencils
-a laptop equipped with only a word processor
-peanut butter, bread, Mini Wheats and milk, a dozen eggs and some cheddar, and a tin of tea

I would knit, sleep, walk out in the middle of a night of pouring rain, write my Novel, cry rivers of tears, and BE ALONE.

Is that too much to ask?

Didn't think so.

O Solo Nervoso Mio

Thanks for all the good wishes, everyone - last night was.......well, pretty good for a first solo. The dancing was a bloody doddle compared to the stress of maintaining an acceptable facial expression. I kept shrieking at myself (mentally) "Smile! For the love of sheep, SMILE!!" followed in a few moments by "GOOD LORD woman this is what is called a GRIMACE, RELAX YOUR FACE!"

So basically I spent four and a half minutes alternating between a Scantily-Clad Undertaker and Maniac Stepford Harem Girl.

But the dance itself was flawless. I wowed them with my swirling veil and my skilled rhythmic zilling. No photos, I'm afraid - it was all I could do to get the assistant to figure out how to put my CD on, never mind actually work my video camera. But I'll be dancing with my troupe next weekend (on TV this time) so I may record that for your viewing pleasure.

Postes Canada Post came by the other day, and dropped off a V-E-R-Y interesting package. Here it is.

Lest you missed it, let me draw your attention to the return address:

Oh Em Gee!! Oh Em Gee!!

Here's where I say a huge THANK YOU to Mairi Macleod for writing "Value: 25 GBP" on the customs form, instead of "Value: 115 GBP", resulting in my having to pay $7.43 duty instead of $20.

And if you want to know how much $240 gets you at Virtual Yarns, take a gander.

It doesn't look like much, but.......well okay, actually it's not much. But hey - this is some quality wool. And all this wool PLUS a couple of hundred hours of my time EQUALS a pretty wrap! So if I paid a dollar an hour to knit this I am TOTALLY WINNING! Basically it's costing me nothing! Yay!

Dear Mr. Buhler: thank you for all the time you spent teaching me remedial math. I'm sure you're happy with how it all turned out. Affectionately, Shannon

I'll be swatching this baby as soon as I get some WIPs out of the way. I have promised myself to finish off the Log Cabin Blanket and the Marina Piccola socks before I start Rheingold. (I'm not talking to the lace right now, by the way. I have threatened to send her to my riding-crop-owning friend* for a bit of spankin' if she doesn't start behaving soon. So far she has responded to that just as she responded to my tears and cajoling - with stony silence. We'll see how stony she is WHEN SHE'S GOT A FEW RED WELTS ON HER BEHIND, YES YOU HEARD ME BEYOTCH, YOUR TIME IS A'COMIN.)

On that happy note, I'll bid you all a fond adieu. I'll be back tomorrow (or possibly Friday) with another addition to my ongoing meme.

* I'm sure you're all interested to find out which of my friends owns a riding crop (although I'm betting it's more than just one) but I will be coy about identifying her....though she should feel free to identify herself, should she wish it.

Edit: Thanks Annalea - I forgot to link to Rheingold.

Dum Dum Tek Ka

Tonight is the Middle Eastern cooking class, with Shan as the floor show. Wish me tips.

Photo from www.heavyhips.net.

Wonderfully Out of Context

Erudite Mondays at HalfSoled Boots

Volume 2, Number 2

My Uncle Dave (find him in the sidebar under Rellies - he's "Actively Avuncular") tagged me to do this "nearest book" thing where you find the closest book, turn to page 123, and post the fifth through eighth sentences. I'm going to do this, as ever, my way.

Nearest Book of Any Description - Charlotte's Web
"A rat can creep out late at night and have a feast. In the horse barn you will find oats that the trotters and pacers have spilled. In the trampled grass of the infield you will find old discarded lunch boxes containing the foul remains of peanut butter sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, cracker crumbs, bits of doughnuts, and particles of cheese. In the hard-packed dirt of the midway, after the glaring lights are out and the people have gone home to bed, you will find a veritable treasure of popcorn fragments, frozen custard dribblings, candied apples abandoned by tired children, sugar fluff crystals, salted almonds, popsicles, partially gnawed ice cream cones, and the wooden sticks of lollypops."

Who's hungry?

Nearest Grownup Book - Household Counts: Canadian Households and Families in 1901
(Page 123 is a map: I had to go to page 153.)

Another way of representing the differences in the social environment between the new world and Europe is to compare how many young people were participating in life-cycle service. Although it was common in eighteenth-century Europe, historians have noted that the tradition of young people leaving home to work for a succession of employers in their teenage years generally declined in the modern era. Hajnal and Berkner both note the prevalence of young servants in western European populations and suggest that between 30 and 40 per cent of males and females at ages 15 to 19 were servants in the eighteenth century. Laslett and Kussmaul have stressed its importance in eighteenth-century England as well.

Who's bored?

Nearest Book Belonging to ME: The Penelopiad
I had a whole run of dreams that night, dreams that have not been recorded, for I never told them to a living soul. In one, Odysseus was having his head bashed in and his brains eaten by the Cyclops; in another, he was leaping into the water from his ship and swiming towards the Sirens, who were singing with ravishing sweetness, just like my maids, but were already stretching out their birds' claws to tear him apart; in yet another, he was making love with a beautiful goddess, and enjoying it very much. Then the goddess turned into Helen; she was looking at me over the bare shoulder of my husband with a malicious little smirk. This last was such a nightmare that it woke me up, and I prayed that it was a false dream sent from the cave of Morpheus through the gate of ivory, not a true one sent through the gate of horn.

Hm. Good one Maggie.

Nearest Book I'm Actually READING: The Odyssey of Homer
These things the famous singer sang for them, but Odysseus, taking in his ponderous hands the great mantle dyed in sea-purple, drew it over his head and veiled his fine features, shamed for tears running down his face before the Phaiakians; and every time the divine singer would pause in his singing, he would take the mantle away from his head, and wipe the tears off, and taking up a two-handled goblet would pour a libation to the gods, but every time he began again, and the greatest of the Phaiakians would urge him to sing, since they joyed in his stories, Odysseus would cover his head again, and make lamentation. There, shedding tears, he went unnoticed by all the others, but Alkinoos alone understood what he did and noticed, since he was sitting next him and heard him groaning heavily. At once he spoke aloud to the oar-loving Phaiakians: 'Hear me, you leaders of the Phaiakians and men of counsel. By this time we have filled our desire for the equal feasting and for the lyre, which is the companion to the generous feast.'

I give Homer props for adjective use. And if you've always wanted to try a classical epic but aren't sure which one to tackle, pick this one. (The Lattimore translation is excellent - see link.)

Book that is Nearest to my Heart: The Hounds of the Morrigan
"But we'd never get it. She'd kill us first."
"Kill us?" said Brigit. She looked around wide-eyed at the idea of anyone even thinking such a thing.

The most wonderful book EVER and EVERYONE should read it.

Book that is Second Nearest to my Heart: A Traveller in Time
"You know who she is?"
I shook my head, not venturing to guess.
"Her blessed Majesty, Mary Queen of Scotland," said he, "My beloved and sacred queen. One day she will be Queen of England, on her rightful throne, and the true religion will come back, and all will be well on earth as in heaven."

I'm getting a bad feeling about this....

===========================

Isn't it amazing what you can say in four sentences? Especially if you punctuate effectively.

Maybe you've noticed.

#3

I have a thing for vampires. Ever since I was a fairly young child I was both drawn to and terrified of them. I remember devouring everything I could find to read about the mythology and mystique of the vampire, then lying in bed in the dark paralysed with fear, repeating in a whisper, "They can't come in unless you invite them." The intimacy of the bite, the thrill of fear, the power of the biter and the powerlessness of the bitten.....all of these things haunted my daydreams - and my nightmares - for years. I suppose it was all part of a young girl's (ahem) awakening, now that I read this paragraph over. (Sorry, Mum. I realise it's possible you'd rather not know that.)

I didn't really notice my vamp obsession until lately, when I was scouring the DVD bins at London Drugs for a copy of Underworld and Underworld Evolution. The movies weren't there, so I stalked over to the Aud-Vid desk and commanded the pimply lackey to order the set. They arrived in short order - four hours of Kate Beckinsale with blue-black hair and fangs. I felt the thrill of victory. I cackled a mad gleeful laugh. Back at home, I lovingly put the DVDs onto the shelf that holds my favourite movies, sat back and read the titles over: Underworld. Underworld Evolution. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Chosen Collection. Angel: the Series. Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Hm.